I have been despondent about someone STEALING my domain (not really; I didn’t have it renewed annually, and someone bought it and HELD IT RANSOM for YEARS).
Just happened to LOOK UP and my domain was FREEEEE YAAAAY! ❤
SHALOM
Shalom!!
Our husband made a video last night —
Hopefully you can see it. If not click this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5nGFb200tQ
But that’s not what I’m here for — this year’s garden is thick with cucumbers, watermelons, we had squash (but had to let it go — borers!), onions, greens (kale, mustard, collards broccoli), We’ve got peppers and tomatoes and carrots, as well!
THIS year, we are learning about insects and plant diseases. Seems like that’s what The Most High wanted to teach us about this year. Pests and such. It’s been a war to fight with them and sometimes it’s a losing battle (again, squash borers). We had cabbage, for example, but we met cabbage worms for the first time, this year. They decimated the cabbage, and after having an entire bed of beautiful cabbage, we probably received ONE head we could salvage. But the cabbage worms moved so fast!! And we fought them as instructed — diamataceous earth, etc etc. No work.
It was, admittedly, depressing.
The children are getting older and bigger. Larger. They are being required to help more.
Oh and we have chickens, the chickens are laying a bunch of eggs/day, too many for us to eat — so sometimes we sell them ($5/dz), other times we give them away. We have one broodhen that is not smart — she sits on eggs, then after they’ve developed for some amount of time, she kicks them out and brings in a whole, new set. Sad. What’s wrong with her? lol SMH
We go out to our land often enough. We shoot, we invite friends and we shoot, we BBQ, we camp… those are probably our happiest times, because when you’re out on the land, “reality” (the city, bills, making an income, etc) is far far away from your thoughts.
We had a possum in the chicken coop the other night — at 4:30am. Traumatized the youngest daughter, because she was awakened to the sounds of chickens screaming. She woke her mother, who then woke me, and when I came outside, she ran to me and draped her arms around my neck, in hysterics, with near-silent screams and everything. We’ve had possums in our yard before, but that was years before my co and her children arrived.
I said “Let me go get [our husband], because there isn’t anything I know how to do about it, except to shoot it”, and I went and woke him. I asked him which gun he wanted. He chose a .22. Both girls have .22 LRs (all chilren get a rifle at the age of 10, that’s a rite of passage with us). I loaded it, and we went back outside and he and the dog went into the chicken’s area, and he shot it.
He had to shoot it about 6 times for it to die.
When I told my elderly father, who’s a country-boy, he chuckled and said “Yup, possums are hard to kill!”, which is just gross to ME, lol. Why are they hard to kill? Yuck.
So it’s always something over here, lol. Never. A dull. Moment. lol
Alright so I’m done with this update! It’s Wednesday! I’m thinking we should have a fun meal tonight, of like, burgers and fries for dinner. or fried fish and fries. Or… fried chicken…and fries… mmm.
Straitway Newsletter: “One” Wife
Pastor Dowell has done it again!! CLICK THE LINK to receive the .pdf where Pastor Dowell of Straitway Community breaks down the verses that say “one” wife in the (so-called) New Testament!
The clarity is REAL!
Barachot weh shalom, mishpacha!
It’s been over a year since I’ve posted anything on this blog but those of you who like the facebook page know that we’ve been quite active!
But if you haven’t been over there —
We bought a small ranch! We’ve had it for a year, and we still have our house in the city, but the entire goal is to homestead. so that’s where we’re headed. Witness a flyover of our land, here. We camp there often, probably monthly, we love to shoot so we’ve built our own range out there.
We have CHICKENS! My co had chickens before she was living with us, and our husband can build anything, so when she asked him to build a chicken coop, he did it in about a week and it’s a beautiful, sturdy structure. So he and her went and purchased chickens and a rooster, all but three too young to lay. The rooster has only recently begun crowing, just BARELY, but I think he’s rather proud of himself.
Each chicken has about 3 names, including the rooster (sometimes he’s Johnny Bravo, sometimes he’s Jack or Jake, sometimes he’s Brian, rofl, sometimes he’s Boonk-Gang lol just depends on who’s talking to him and what the context is lol).
They’re easier than I thought they’d be at this time, so don’t fault me if I come back later and say something crazy happened with them. They are currently “free range” — we let them into the garden (We have a GARDEN! Also my co’s doing — and mind you, these are all things I wanted to do but didn’t have much of an idea on how to start. I’d been so busy before she got here that researching such things was an impossibility, I couldn’t even lend my mind in that direction). They go wherever they want in the backyard, really. The dog is used to them, now. She sometimes walks around sniffing the ones that allow her to, and if you’re not careful she’ll eat their food (Why, puppy-dog, why??).
As I mentioned, we have a GARDEN, we did it for the first time this past spring 2017, and it lasted to the end of summer. Everything did mostly well although there were two situations that were LESSONS to us — the lettuce “bolted” because Texas gets hot pretty fast once it decides that’s what it’s going to do, and the lettuce loved it so much that it bolted and became bitter and inedible. And the squash that was beautiful and healthy began to get attacked by squash borers, these nightmarish grubs that are left by their moth-mommies to hatch near the roots of your plants. They dig into the roots and hide inside the root of the plant, eating away until they’re large enough to cocoon and re-hatch and fly away, disgusting beasts. We and the children fought them daily for about two weeks until we decided to just take the squash that we’d grown and let that section go. We don’t WANT to use chemicals on our gardens AT ALL, so we then had to research what to do about those monsters. We’ve got some diatomaceous earth as a few parties suggested, so we’ll give that a try next time. The squash was very agreeable in our portion of Texas and it’s bright and sometimes unforgiving sunlight.
The watermelons did SOO well that they went outside the garden’s fence and gave birth out there as well, for a while in the summer we had a watermelon a week — the last 5 we were tired of eating watermelon, so we took them to the land and used them for target practice.
We also grew peppers, greenbeans, lima beans, potatoes, onions, some herbs, garlic, spinach, asparagus and strawberries. The strawberries did NOT do well — back to the drawing board on THAT, we couldn’t get them to do ANYTHING at all. We’ll try again because the children love them.
The garden and the chickens are in the city. This is like a testing-station for us — when we do it out on The Land, it’ll be on a much larger scale. The land already has blackberry bushes hiding ALL OVER THE PLACE, and one pear tree hidden on the edge of some of the wooded parts. The children found it, confirmed it with me (I’d seen it; I grew up with pear and peach trees) and then they robbed it of all the fruit they could, for a treat.
Let’s see, what else! Oh! We’ve created a NEW YOUTUBE CHANNEL!! I still have my Dreamgyrl360 channel, and I’ll always have it, and I still plan to post there on occasion, as I’ve always done. But the channel is called “The Co-Wives” and it’s MOSTLY just us doing our thing, as it were, living our lives, but RECENTLY in the past month we’ve kind of created a little Q&A series. TONIGHT is the LAST NIGHT of the Q&A series, and as requested by one of our followers, we are going to TRY to go live BOTH on YOUTUBE *and* on FACEBOOK, so everyone who wants to, can ask questions and we’ll do our bests to answer. It usually lasts an hour or two, and then we’re done! So hopefully you’ll be able to join us on some form of social media!
Below are the videos we’ve done in the SERIES — there are other videos on the channel and it’d be great if you watched them, too, AND liked and subscribed!
You’re welcome to suggest things for us to discuss, because sometimes we can’t think of a single topic lol. So enjoy!! It’s a quiet and peaceful morning of watching chickens outside on a cloudy day, where it rained all yesterday evening as well as into the night… shalom!
This is a great article on femininity.
*This isn’t for the FLDS or any communities of people where polygyny is a part of everyday life. They don’t need this post at all. This is for those of us who are living in places where polygyny is either new, or taboo, or largely unknown.
People with young children will be able to transition into polygyny pretty seamlessly, because young children don’t know anything about monogamy or polygyny, they only know the culture and world you build around them. Children older than 9 will probably have to be re-educated if you haven’t begun having conversations with them regarding multiple wives already.
With younger children, it helps if you have a belief system of some sort where there are people that have more than one wife. Bible stories feature men that have multiple wives, and of course the Quran has Muhammad, with all of his wives. There are African stories from various tribes that talk about multiple wives. All you have to do is speak about it and let them know it’s something that happens, it’s regular, and, according to your beliefs, it’s allowed/okay for your family to do it.
With the older ones, educating them on the subject of polygyny along with the stories is good. Because if you’re new to this and are just now pursuing it, you have to acknowledge that almost never in your child’s life have they seen or heard of a man having more than one woman outside of cheating. Also, you must expect them to have opinions on it, already. You have to allow them that but you must also CORRECT their view — there’s nothing wrong with polygyny among consenting adults. It will be harder because children of this age, if they aren’t homeschooled, typically care a lot about what their peers think. The fear of being seen as different may cause them to be totally against your polygynous leanings. Their concerns must be taken into account.
Always keep open lines of communication with your children; if and when you actually get into a polygynous relationship, sometimes stop and ask them how they’re feeling, how they feel about it, how they feel about the person/people you’re courting, etc. Take their responses into account, if they don’t like the person or the situation, delve into that and consider their motives (if they’re OKAY with polygyny but they’re like “Mommy — not THEM!” find out WHY).
Children must be instructed to respect all of the adults in the marriage. And for the adults, you should do best to keep a united front on all things in front of the children. I would advise this for all parents, regardless of relationship structures. Families, They are not allowed to disrespect your new wife. Women, they are not allowed to disrespect your new husband. Nip it in the bud and show consistency in your actions about that any time they may step out of line. If you treat children fairly and with equity amongst them, you shouldn’t have any issues out of the ordinary with them.
These are my suggestions!! Be Blessed!!
I can’t help but notice some things so please allow me to make some statements that may or may not be received well — I don’t know how any of you will receive it and while I’ll attempt to maintain decorum and be as politically correct as possible, I’m going to probably still hurt your feelings either way so let’s rip the band-aid right on off, shall we?
Some of you are unrealistic about polygyny. You’re desperate and you’re running full-speed ahead, no-holds-barred toward your future polygynous household — and what you don’t seem to understand, is that what you THINK it’s gonna be, is based on FANTASY and FAIRY-TALES!
It would be great if people would understand themselves BEFORE they get into polygyny, but some of us won’t get it until we’ve actually tried it for ourselves. But you need to do your BEST to understand yourself RIGHT NOW before you move forward.
What kind of person are you? Are you kind? Are you able to balance? Are you patient? Can you be a friend? Are you able to be FAIR?
Everyone needs to ask themselves questions like these and REALLY be honest with yourselves before you move into this.
Do you realize that women are not cardboard cut outs? Do you realize they’re NOT all the same? Do you realize that, if you have one wife already, chances are wife two is NOT going to be like her? And neither is wife three? Are you ready to contend with their different emotions, sensitivities, likes and dislikes? Are you ready to contend with your OWN emotions, sensitivities, likes and dislikes when you find out that this person that you thought was going to be all this is NOT going to be all of what you thought?
Are you able to be fair THROUGH the FACT that, since you’ve been with Wife A for x amount of years, you may find you prefer HER ways and Wife B MAY NOT CONFORM to the same ways that Wife A has? Because UNLESS you taking women directly out of their father’s houses, these women have been adults for a long time and already have “ways” that they are (“I’m just that way; that’s how I am”). Are you able to STILL deal with her FAIRLY and give her her DUE when that happens IN SPITE OF the fact that you NOW realize you prefer Wife A’s ways and that you IGNORANTLY assumed that when you got Wife B and C they would just come in and conform??
First wives, are you able to understand that EVEN if you and sister-woman are like besties when you meet, that you’re gonna get in there and you’re going to find places where you just don’t agree? Are YOU able to be fair if you find out she’s NOT going to be your bestie like you thought, because you get your nails done and she’s not interested in getting her nails done? Are you able to be fair when you find out your differences?
Wives coming in/Potentials — are you able to understand that fact that if you’re joining a family already-in-progress that they are gonna have their ways and their speed? Are you able to understand that they TOO, are NOT cookie cutter cardboard cut outs of happy families? What are you going to do when they disagree with your methods? What are you gonna do, when they disagree with EACH OTHER’s methods? ARE YOU GONNA BE FAIR?
Polygyny is NOT easy, and you’re not gonna just be good at it just because you say you are or you THINK you are. Some of you are single or in currently-monogamous relationships and you ALREADY not dealing fairly with the people you claim to love or have made a commitment to.
… so many of you are DESPERATE and you don’t even know what you’re getting yourselves into. You’re desperately seeking fantasies of Big Love and Brother Polight.
Not to MENTION the FACT that, while in the world and in the COUNTRY there are significantly more viable black women than there are more viable black men, when it comes to black women in America that choose polygyny as their relationship dynamic, there are more families looking to add on a wife than there are women to go around! Men and families come in to these facebook groups and they put up a status “Who wants to be the wife of a righteous Hebrew/Muslim man?” “Women in Colorado, inbox me!” “Are you pro black? Because I’m pro black – let’s get this black love going! Message me!” Even if they go so far as to put an entire bio on them and their current family stats — THAT DOESN’T MEAN WOMEN ARE JUST GOING TO FALL INTO YOUR INBOX! Just because you’re Hebrew and she’s Hebrew does NOT mean she’s meant for you! Just because you’re pro black and she’s pro black does NOT mean she’s supposed to come your way! There are 5 other people — 3 other families and 2 other single men — vying for that woman, JUST LIKE YOU.
So with THAT being the case, you just putting the call out there like that and thinking it’s going to be inviting and received and women just gone be like “Yeeh we wanna join up wit HIM” is not realistic at all.
And this ALSO leads to the FACT that POLYGYNY MAY NOT HAPPEN FOR YOU!! NO MATTER HOW MANY DREAMS YOU HAVE OF NATION-BUILDING, HAVING ALL THESE WOMEN IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD AND ALL THESE BABIES — THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE GONNA GET IT! It doesn’t matter how GOOD you are, how RIGHT you are, how financially responsible you ARE, it doesn’t MATTER — NONE of it matters because there are multiple men/families purporting to be JUST AS GOOD as you are, all to the SAME WOMAN you are chasing after! And GUESS WHAT?? SHE might not be very good at making decisions in relationships ANYWAY — so IF you are the best choice she may not even SEE you like that. So off SHE goes with someone else.
So with THAT being the case, you just putting the call out there like that and thinking it’s going to be inviting and received and women just gone be like “Yeeh we wanna join up wit HIM” is not realistic at all.
And this ALSO leads to the FACT that POLYGYNY MAY NOT HAPPEN FOR YOU!! NO MATTER HOW MANY DREAMS YOU HAVE OF NATION-BUILDING, HAVING ALL THESE WOMEN IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD AND ALL THESE BABIES — THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE GONNA GET IT! It doesn’t matter how GOOD you are, how RIGHT you are, how financially responsible you ARE, it doesn’t MATTER — NONE of it matters because there are multiple men/families purporting to be JUST AS GOOD as you are, all to the SAME WOMAN you are chasing after! And GUESS WHAT?? SHE might not be very good at making decisions in relationships ANYWAY — so IF you are the best choice she may not even SEE you like that. So off SHE goes with someone else.
No.
Everything you’re moving toward — everything you’re thinking about when it comes to polygyny — is predicated on fantastical bullshit.
…and I know you guys want the REAL-real — you want to hear from real life polygynous families and what they go through, because you think it will help. but IT MAY NOT. It might not. The human ego is a HUGE thing. Husbands will look at that family and tell themselves “I’m just like HIM”and they’re NOT — women will look at the wives in the family and say “That is SO me!” and they’re NOT — because if you don’t live with those people and see them for more than a few hours in a day you don’t have any idea WHO they are OR what they’re actually like, you only see a portion of who they are, they only tell you about a portion of themselves, their love for each other is too complicated, their arguments are too complicated, their lives are too complicated for you to REALLY “see yourself” in these people.
Sometimes those that have done polygyny or are DOING polygyny can look at what people post in here and we already know who is PROBABLY not cut out for this.
There’s no point in telling you this, because you’re not going to LISTEN, you still want to TRY and when you TRY you will find out the truth of the situation and you’ll understand yourself THEN — the REAL you that you couldn’t see — and you’ll either put your adult drawls on and do your best to be a good person in spite of yourself, or you’ll make all the mistakes I’ve loosely mentioned.
But I hope you understand ONE point I was trying to make — don’t play with people’s lives, don’t play with their hearts and emotions just because YOU don’t know who YOU are. You can’t move a woman in, and THEN find she’s not a good fit and send her on her way. You can’t bring a sister in as your co, THEN feel some type of way when she doesn’t agree with your disciplining methods , and then want her gone. You can’t join a family, and then when you see all the shit they got going on, want to back out.
Do what you can to TRULY know who you are and what you can handle. You’re still not going to know until you get off in there, and really some questions and some things just can’t be answered until you get in the thing and then and ONLY then will you know and understand yourself.
But know I TRIED to warn you and I TRIED to get you to look within…
I think a man, when courting a woman, should prove that he is financially able to provide for her to some extent, if she should warrant that.
I think that should happen in all relationship dynamics. This isn’t being a gold digger — it doesn’t mean she’s asking for riches and big houses and luxury items.
Men are the providers. They provide. They go out, they face the outside world, they do the hard things it takes to bring wealth to the family.
Why is he not supposed to prove that to a woman he’s trying to bring in as a wife? Why should that woman just “trust” that he’s got it all together? Because he MIGHT NOT.
I see men asking “What does she bring in, other than her vagina?”
-_- That certainly belittles what a woman typically brings in.
No one’s going to like what I’m saying on this.
But I’ve said it before.
Wives are luxury items.
Not every man deserves a wife if he can’t take care of one.
Think of wives as luxury items. She’s gonna come in, she’s going to be pretty to you, she’s gonna smell good, she’s gonna be soft, she’s gonna be sweet. You’re going to want her softness and you’re going to want to smell her, you’re going to want her companionship, her sensuality. She’ll clean, she’ll cook, she’ll mother and nurture your children. She’ll nurse all of you when you’re sick.
And yes, she comes with a vagina.
Wives — good ones — are luxury items.
Don’t belittle that position. And don’t think you just deserve one just because you want one. Don’t think she just has to take your word for it that you can provide well for her. SHE DONT KNOW YOU and wont know you until she’s apart of your household, monogamous OR polygynous.
You want her to do her job and prove she can do it? Fine.
But you do your job and prove you can do it, too.
And don’t give me all that “I can cook for myself and nurse myself” Nonsense. Alot of women can change their own flat tires and fix the leak under the sink these days, too.
But it’s SOOOO much nicer when you have a woman that can cook and nurse you; just as it’s soooo much nicer when a woman can depend on a man to fix her flat, change her oil, and get that leak under the sink.
(This is all in the traditional sense of man and woman and their stations — if you’re not into that, ignore me)
A young Hebrew sister coming to terms with many things! What a joy THIS blog is to read!!
This topic was definitely on my heart so I have to present what I have went through and learned about it. Before I was “saved” I used to say, I wanted to be the “number only” girl. Not the #1 girl because that meant there was a #2 somewhere so I wanted to be the only one. I went into the Christian church and my marriage with the same mentality. Then I started following this Israelite way and Pastor Dowell began his “teachings” or introduction of the true Israelite heritage way and addressing the polygamy life style of our fore fathers. This hit me hard at first. Not because of the doctrine, because I could not argue, nor did I try to, with the scripture, but it was a personal battle that I had to endure and understand. At first, I did not understand why this was so hard for…
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Our businesses have us parents (mommies and daddy) working almost around the clock — my co works at the store most days, and I work from home for my husband’s company. Before the summer came, I was still trying to homeschool AND do the work the company required, but I became overwhelmed. My husband’s suggestion was to let the children have summer break — “Other kids break for the summer; they can, too.” So we did that. Now summer’s done for public school children, but I still have the same workload I had before.
But today, I just had enough. I MISS MY KIDS. I miss educating them, I miss talking to them about fundamental things. This summer we’ve had a blurb here and there — we’re an education-on-demand kind of family, so if a child asks an educational question, we stop everything, look it up, and discuss it. But I miss having that carved out time to our day.
So I forced myself to carve out some time — even though I was stopping to take phone calls, work on spreadsheets, and send and receive important emails. I was happy to find that the remembered pretty much everything from where we left off — that made ME happy, it means to ME at least that I’m doing a good job.
You want to open a business in order to generate income to make it easier for your family, you want to open a business in order to give you more time with your family, you want to open a business in order to leave a legacy of some sort to your children — but that business has to be BUILT.
My sister in law is coming on board to assist with husband’s company — that will free me up slightly but it will probably be another month after she comes on before she is acclimated and I can fully step away from the portion she’ll be taking over. I expect that. But after THAT, I expect to be able to give homeschooling more time — we can unschool, and that’s okay, but I’ve never wanted to fully unschool. I believe little structuring and guidance is needed.
That’s all I wanted. We’re so very busy around here! *I* think we’re pretty much a blended family. We’re getting there. Nobody’s perfect around here! But we’re striving to become one unit. That requires patience on one part, and discipline on the other. It also requires us to WANT for that to happen.
She (my co-wife/sister-wife) is probably my best friend right now. I have my best friends but we’re all so busy and our lives aren’t exactly looking the same these days, so we don’t talk often, although we love each other very much. But she and I are living the same life, pretty much, everything we have and everything we are is intertwined, because we are loving the same husband.
She’s actually under the weather today (VERY — she threw up a few times this morning and NO IT’S NOT MORNING SICKNESS, it’s a bug because the kids have all had some form of it in the last couple of weeks). I’m not a doter, I’m not a helicopter type of person, but I’m trying to make sure she’s hydrated, and make sure she’s okay to go to the store. She went to the store, but I was willing to go, AND take my laptop with me to work from there, if I needed to.
Okay it took me all day to type this up because I’m so busy so let me get back to it! I gotta find out the dates for Yom Teruah and Yom Kippur!! I hope I’m not too late…
Blessings!
Coarse: A Blog 